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Subjective reflective.

I was feeling especially musical last night, so I went through all my old music. Scraps of old songs that I had arranged or written. Folders of sheet music. Pages of lyrics and chord charts. It was interesting to see how many projects I had started and abandoned. And how many I'd actually finished and then abandoned.

More interesting, though, was how much it all changed over time. They started off as simple songs. A couple chord changes, end. Then more chord changes got added. More complexity. Riffs, written out. Lyrics. But it was all very formulaic. Two verses, chorus, two verses, bridge, chorus, end. Or maybe a slight variation of that. Two verses, chorus, bridge, one verse, chorus, end. Simple, constricting rhyme schemes. Forced lyrics.

I could go on.

But there were lapses in the record. A couple months of nothing, and suddenly something new. Something better. Matured. And so I traced it all to the present. It was a fun exercise, trying to match the stylistic changes and advances with new music that I'd found and such. Interesting.

However, the most interesting thing was how the concept for what was good and what was bad changed. Some elbow room was introduced to the idea of good music. Wrong notes, wrong rhythms. They're okay. Perfection is a vague idea that doesn't belong in music, I think. You can strive for it in classical, but you'll never quite get there. You can be the most technically able musician in the world, but if your music doesn't move you then what's the point? Music shouldn't be a chore. Where's the fun in trying to make something perfect when it shouldn't be?

Some people think music is something that improves life. Makes it bearable. They're wrong. Music is life, and life is imperfect. It's an idea that I think I'm finally starting to accept. There's always something to improve, which is a roundabout way of saying there's another way to play it.

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