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Might just let it go.

I read an article the other day that stated, with several different levels of confidence, that our personalities are pretty much set after 1st grade. And, so, I thought about it for a bit and tried to remember what I was like in 1st grade. The only thing that really stuck out to me was the memory of my teacher.

She was an older woman with a gaunt face. Very serious. Also, very mean. Unduly mean, it seemed. Considering we had just come from kindergarten, a year that revolved primarily around raising chickens and playing games, being forced to exclusively do legitimate schoolwork with no transition was a bit of a shock. And the few times we did anything remotely fun, she managed to suck the pleasure out of them by criticizing us for not coloring inside the lines or some such foolishness. There were, I'm sure, many other examples. But thinking about 1st grade fills me with a sort of rebellious fervor.

It was, I believe, the first time I had ever recognized an authority figure as one undeserving of respect. In fact, in my 1st grade mind, she deserved nothing but disrespect. As such, my other memory of 1st grade involves parent/teacher conferences and stern talking-to's. And the next year, we went back to playing games and learning in a way that was both constructive and fun. I never forgot that experience, though. The other 1st grade teachers were so nice to their classes.

1st grade was a real bubble buster for me, I guess. It was a good lesson to learn. And, I suppose, a pivotal moment in my personality development. Because authority is earned, not delegated. But really I just wish we could've played games or some shit instead of doing math worksheets.

Comments

Carolynn said…
I don't remember much about first grade either. All I do remember is that my teacher's name was Jan [Something]. It was the first time I realized that teachers had "real" names. I made her a paper snowflake that said "DEAR JAN YOU ARE AWSUM LOVE CAROLYNN."

That was also the same event that taught me not to address adult professional people by their first names.
October 24, 2011 at 10:33 AM
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