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That sounds like something I do not want.

So stuff sucks. I think that's a universally shared belief. A lot of people have miserable lives and many more are actually horrible people themselves who pretend that they are not horrible people. I am one of those people. Sometimes I wake up and hate everything. I guess that's pretty okay. Some people disagree with me on that point, but that's okay too.

A couple of days ago I was at work. The bad thing about work, aside from being there, is that I work too quickly. The jobs are so repetitive that you can't help but get into an efficient routine and finish everything sooner than you want. To compensate, I spend a decent amount of time in the restroom. Sometimes I actually use it, sometimes I just sit there and think about things. This time there was a man at the end of the hall who apparently had just come around the corner or was waiting there already. As I stalked into the restroom he called out to me: "Hey, man. Can I suck on your dick?" It wasn't until I entered the restroom that I realized what he'd asked me. What the fuck, I thought. I sat down in the stall furthest from the door and started thinking about the rest of my mindless day at work when he came in. He and I were the only people in the restroom, and he took the stall right next to mine. I could see his shoes under the dividing wall. Man, I thought to myself, who takes the middle stall when the other far stall is clearly vacant. It was a blatant disregard for male restroom etiquette, but there was nothing I could do. Judging from the position of his shoes he was looking at the toilet, perhaps taking an extraordinarily long time to clean the seat. He whispered to me, "Hey, man. Can I suck your dick?" I sat in silence, contemplating my response when he kicked a piece of paper under the wall with what was presumably his phone number and name, 'Jojo.' He left the restroom and I pocketed the paper. At this point I didn't really have a plan of action due to the shock of what had just happened. As I struggled to comprehend the gravity of the situation, he entered the stall once again. "Man, can I suck on your dick?" He kicked another piece of paper under the wall. It read, 'can i suck on your dick yes or no.' As he exited for the second time I pocketed the new note. I clutched my pocket knife in my hand and thought about the immediate future. There was a good chance that I was going to be raped by this man who was bigger and taller than I was. Here. In this bathroom. Impulsively I kicked open the stall door and sprinted out of the restroom. He was waiting in the hallway for me. "Hey, man. Hey. Hey, dude." I ignored him and ran back into the office, hiding behind my desk. It was a very tense rest of the day.

I guess the moral of this story is that you should never go to work because somebody will want to suck on your dick. Honestly I don't think that I look like somebody who wants their dick sucked by another dude in a restroom, but I suppose I could be wrong. Who knew?

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