Someone close once passed a quote on to me from someone famous that was something about sunshine and shadows and standing. I forget the details, but the idea behind it made a lasting impression. At an early point in my life I came to realize that I was a generally happy person. Outwardly, not so much. But I was always easily amused by various childhood imaginings and simple things and dogs. Later in life, I came to realize that I am--for whatever reason--generally uncomfortable with being a generally happy person.
The logic behind it escapes me.
It's some kind of conflict between heart and mind where the mind is generally pessimistic and cynical and bitter in order to cope with and rationalize all of the happenings of the world around it. And, so, outwardly, I became generally pessimistic and cynical and bitter which, occasionally, gets absorbed into the other part. The inside part, I guess.
It's a cyclical thing that I haven't quite gotten the grasp of.
Yet.
The logic behind it escapes me.
It's some kind of conflict between heart and mind where the mind is generally pessimistic and cynical and bitter in order to cope with and rationalize all of the happenings of the world around it. And, so, outwardly, I became generally pessimistic and cynical and bitter which, occasionally, gets absorbed into the other part. The inside part, I guess.
It's a cyclical thing that I haven't quite gotten the grasp of.
Yet.
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