Skip to main content

Pinky promise.

I was surprised at how attached I was to the play when it ended. Or, at least, surprised at the realization of how attached I actually was compared to how attached I thought I was. Seeing all those people on the stage for the last time, it didn't really register. We were all still on such a high. Even with the final words and goodbyes.

It didn't ever click.

Monday came. And there I sat in my apartment, watching the digits on the clock blink in the dark. 8:00. 8:01. 8:02. And there it was. That restless feeling. Not like before. Not like finishing marching season. Not like finishing a movie. Not like finishing a song. Not like coming home after a long trip. A different restless. The bad kind. It was an empty feeling. Like I was supposed to be somewhere I wasn't.

We sat down in the room on the side, away from the other people. The strangers. All the strange, strange people speaking loudly and singing songs in harmony. Acting strange and playing strange poison dart games and pantomiming strange fantasies. "We don't belong here," I said. "Yeah," she said. "I know we don't." I couldn't help but let my gaze wander, watching and judging all the strange people gallivanting around the room. "Look at these people," I continued. "We really don't belong here."

But, I couldn't help but think. It would be pretty cool if we did.

Honestly, I didn't expect to get so close to those people. Those people. Like they're some different breed of animal. Those boisterous people with their inefficient rehearsals. At least they were honest and sincere. And they weren't theater people. At least, not like I'd imagined. They were just regular people. Well not regular people, I guess.

Friends.

"We all need to hang out!" "For serious, though. People always say that and it never happens." For a brief moment, I am not my usual self. I am actually earnestly hoping to see these faces again and hear these voices again. For a brief moment, I refuse to accept that it is the end of this group. For a brief moment, I think that these friendships will last.

Maybe not so briefly, actually.

Comments

Carolynn said…
This is really moving, man.
October 26, 2011 at 9:12 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a geologist, not an alcoholic.

I thought I had seen people drink before. Hell, I thought that I had drank before. But, clearly, I thought wrong on both of those counts. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a reason to justify all of the drinking that transpired down there last week. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it just was. Field work just makes a man thirsty. Taking this class was easily one of the best things I've ever done. We worked hard every day out in the field. Wake up at 7, leave the beach house by 8, hit the water by 9. My first three field days were in service on the R/V Acadiana , a 58 foot vessel that towed the CHIRP fish , the air gun, and the streamer to measure all the seismic data--looking at the subsurface of the seafloor we drove over. My second ship was the R/V Itasca using the multibeam , sidescan , and grab sampler --getting seafloor surface bathymetry. They were long, exhausting days and we returned to the docks around 6 or 7 every evening. And then, drinking. So much ...
1 comment
Read more

Finger pointing good.

When I was on the boat doing science at Galveston, I saw a lot of dolphins. It was a significant experience for me because I have never actually seen a wild dolphin in real life before. It was sort of a dream come true. And in the middle of the shipping channel, no less. They really are amazing animals. It really kills me to realize I'll probably never see dolphins in Galveston again because of what happened to the Gulf. What is happening to the Gulf. It really is a tragedy. On a much lighter note, I started this Insanity workout program and it was so intense that I threw up before I finished the first workout. That is a good sign, I think. It is certainly an incentive to complete the entire thing. Anything that makes you feel that bad so quickly must be good for you.
3 comments
Read more

Surgery and satisfaction.

My brother is wrapping up high school band camp. It's kind of funny, because suddenly we have something we can both relate to. Sort of. Not really in a loving, brotherly way. It's more like a begrudging transmission and reception of information. You take what you can get, I guess. After a few days of band camp, I discovered that he had been leaving his instrument in the band hall without a lock. "Nobody steals stuff out of the band hall." He told me. I related some appropriate anecdotes and let him borrow my own lock until he could get one for himself. "I'm going to need that back," I told him. "So you'll need to get your own lock." A couple of weeks later, I reminded him of the terms of our deal. The next day he returned my lock and revealed that he had left his saxophone unlocked. And apparently, for reasons beyond my comprehension, this is my fault.
2 comments
Read more