You are a handsome devil.

I've recently had an epiphany. Or just a normal realization. Or just sort of remembered something. Well, a couple of things. You do not have to be religious to be a good or happy person. And I am a pretty okay person. Also, I'm a pretty happy person despite what my external and internal dialogues suggest.

Technically that is a few things.

But I can be a better person. And I've been trying. It's a good thing to do, I think. I'm also pretty sure this is not the first time I've resolved to be a better person, which is either a testament to my failure or an indication of my constant longing to improve the lives of others and the world around me by first improving myself.

It's the latter. Trust me.

I've also recently come to realize that I need to quit fighting it and just grow up. I'm technically an adult right now even though I don't act like it. And that's not okay anymore. It's time, I think, for me to start acting my age--or older. The people around me are maturing or already mature, and I'm lagging behind. The real world is rapidly approaching--or already here--and I need to be ready, I guess. It's been a sobering realization. So no more juvenile, immaturity from me!

Another one of my good friends just got engaged, which is great news. In related but not as great news, I didn't have another drawn out panic attack about growing up. Because I already grew up. I am now prepared to deal with anything with my mature skills of logic, ingenuity, and boyish charm. Also, my good looks.

(That's confidence. It's a mature thing.)

Comments

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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