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Any number free to wander.

I had so many things I wanted to do this weekend. The most important thing was to backup everything I needed on my computer so I could format and install actual Windows 7 and not just pretend Windows 7. I remember what happened last time I ignored the "you have X hours until your copy expires" and it was horrible. In preparation for the whole system maneuver, I was going to draw up a queue of comics to send in for the week just in case something went wrong. And organize everything I was transferring, deleting what I never used or looked at to regain some space since I'm such a horrible hoarder. Instead, I have 10 hours until my copy expires and I'm just now getting started on this stuff.

Obviously I got a decent start on this.

But I guess whatever happens this week will be well deserved, considering how much effort I actually put into this--and considering how much I should have. It was a weekend well spent, though. Some silliness, some assholery, and some pretty nice weather all tied together with some pretty expansive and focused music listening and adorned with a good bit of solid working on shit ahead of time so that I would have time to take care of my computer situation so that I'd have time to just relax.

Ah, shit. Right. Well I at least drew a comic.It didn't quite turn out the way I had imagined, but mostly because I didn't imagine it very hard. I'm still experimenting with things and stuffs. The difference now is that instead of kicking dirt around I'm moving forward--although tentatively--with an actual storyline. I wanted to name the story 'blunt trauma.' There was probably a way to make that a little more obvious. I didn't want to use boxes since I was using those for his discontinuous and confusing thoughts. It'll get better, I think. It's tough because I have to figure out how to reintroduce the characters I've already introduced because each semester is a new thing. Even though I've already got a preexisting universe set up. But hey, that's fun stuff.

I got this Nuvigil prescription filled this weekend--all three hundred something dollars of it. It does make a difference, of that I am certain, but I'm still wary of wanting it for the wrong reasons. Like, instead of wanting it because it helps me focus and makes me feel not sleepy maybe I actually want it because I want to be broken. I want to have this problem or that problem so I can point at it and say, "Hey look everyone! I've got a problem and I solve it by popping these pills in the morning! It was never really a big deal before but now it's just a crippling thing and so I'm special!" Because I really don't want that--that's stupid. I guess I'll just keep doing whatever for a while until something.

Probably just lay awake in bed all night and angst over how impossibly difficult my life is because my agonies and tribulations are so much more numerous and terrible than anybody else's.

Comments

Carolynn said…
You're not like that, bro. Besides, actually working towards ironing out your stuff is much better than just doing the last bit--the sitting around angsting part.
March 1, 2010 at 12:16 PM
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