Peregrine propensity.

There are certain things that I actually get pretty excited about. Things that happen outside, mostly. Both outside of my sphere of comfort and outside of my control. Anyone's control, really. Like sunrises. Normal weather phenomena. It's awesome. But also, I get excited about eclipses. And I was really excited about the lunar eclipse that was supposed to happen.

Until I went outside.

The fog and cloud cover was so dense that you couldn't see the moon before the eclipse. And even when the moon was eclipsed lunarily, an event which I can neither confirm nor deny actually transpired, there was so much light from everything ever that you couldn't tell it was the darkest night in 456 years.

That's something I could've gotten pretty excited about.

I wish I were back in New Mexico, almost. Or Arizona. Standing outside in the dark craning my head back to stare the stars. I've never seen such unadulterated expanses of night sky until or since then. Thens. Those times. I want to be back out there in the middle of nowhere. Not walking down abandoned neighborhoods around campus. I don't want to go home. Just somewhere else. Anywhere. To the aquarium, desperately. Or anywhere, desperately, I guess.

I'm not terribly picky.

Helping them move all of their things into the van today didn't help relieve that feeling particularly well. I'd like to pack all of my things up and drive into the sunset. Oh well. Maybe one of these days I will. But probably not. It wouldn't be responsible or mature. Apparently it's real good to be one or both of those things.

What a nice break this is.

Comments

Carolynn said…

Out of all the sweet language here I feel bad singling out the title of this post, but it is really cool.

Also I remember this night, it was a major bummer. You couldn't see anything.

October 24, 2011 at 10:55 AM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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