Skip to main content

Don't look so miserable, there's cake.

I went to a wedding the other day. The second wedding I've been to in less than a year. The second time I've been an usher. The second tie I've been gifted. An interesting thing to watch, I guess. My collection of ties has really exploded in the last couple of weeks. Black, silver, purple, red. Slytherin. Not bad.

But weddings really aren't my scene.

Before the whole thing kicked off, I found myself sitting in a coffee shop with an old friend. Or what used to be an old friend. "I can't imagine it," she said. She didn't look up from her notebook. "I know people in their late twenties who still don't know what to do with themselves. I just can't ever see myself getting married." She glanced up. "You aren't planning on getting married, are you?" I took a sip of my drink. "No." "Okay, good." She said. "I just had to make sure. Getting married at our age is an awful idea. It won't last." "Yeah, well, it's the popular thing now. Haven't you heard? It's cool to get divorced."

Damn, I thought. Wrong crowd.

Another wedding crossed off the list. Because there is a list. How many more to go? Two, three? Who can even keep track of it, really. It shocked me before, really. It was an eye opening experience. We're adults and we can make indelible marks on our lives if we want. It doesn't really scare me, now. Knowing that we've actually made it to being grown ups. It just makes me feel tired. Mature, even. "God, you're fucking old." I guess I really can't help but agree.

During the wedding ceremony, as I sat on the cold bench beset by strangers, all I could manage to think about was what would happen if I died. How would my boss know that I wouldn't be coming in to work anymore? And how would my friends know I wouldn't be showing up to any parties again? My parents don't care enough about my actual life to have ever met or remembered any of my friends. They don't have contact information. They wouldn't know how to tell anybody, and so they probably wouldn't. Maybe they'd send a mass text to all the contacts in my phone. "Hello," it would say. "Don't call or text this number anymore because Gabe is actually dead in real life. Sorry!" I feel pretty awful about it because it was so inappropriate for the context. But it's valid, I guess.

Then, I escorted the groom's mother back down the aisle and made my way to the reception. I left the whole thing early, made my way back home. I never really managed to shake the thought from my head.

Oh well.

Comments

Carolynn said…
Monica Tseng got married! I got the invitation in the mail and felt so very old all at once.
October 24, 2011 at 11:09 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You ended weak, but you started.

This is something I feel very strongly about. So strong are my emotions about it, in fact, that I have haphazardly drafted this singular post about it on the fly. I hope, for your sake, that you are seated as I deal with this incredibly important social issue and say controversial things--the likes of which give women the vapors. Shorts. I fucking hate shorts. I hate them because you can't look cool in them. Think about it. Have you ever seen an action hero save the world wearing shorts? No. Action heroes wear pants. Men wear pants. People who save the world wear pants. Pants, pants, pants. Nobody wears shorts excepts, like, stoners, lazy guys, and dudes. And bros. Those archetypes do not do adventurous things. Indiana Jones? Pants. Robocop? Pants. Flapjack? Pants. Bear Grylls? Pants. Australian stereotypes? Shorts. Australia really likes to try to censor their internet content. That doesn't sound so awesome and/or manly to me. To prove my conclusion that shorts a
3 comments
Read more

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur
5 comments
Read more

Waiting and such.

A doctor came to speak at our lecture series the other day. Honestly, I don't even remember what kind of doctor he was. I don't remember any of the questions he answered. I don't remember any of the anecdotes he related. I don't remember any of the insight he imparted on us or any of the wisdom he shared. Except for one thing, which really resonated with me at the time. "The biggest challenge facing you as pre-health profession students," he said before the lecture ended. "Is the overwhelming cynicism of our society." He's right. He's right, and it's awful. I'm a pretty cynical guy, but at least I know it's a joke. That everything is a huge joke. But everybody is so jaded these days. We just can't stand to entertain the thought that maybe--just maybe--things aren't as bad as we think they are. As we want them to be. That maybe--just maybe--people aren't always selfish pieces of shit. There have been a lot
3 comments
Read more