I am not hungry, actually.

I feel unhealthy. It's not that I am actually unhealthy, it's just a self-perception issue. I've always been worried about being fat. Ever since I was a little kid. I don't know why. Actually it was probably my childhood role models. Role model, I guess.

I looked up to Batman.

Batman was never fat. I did not want to be what Batman wasn't. So I didn't want to be fat. There are no fat heroes in any medium. And if a fat hero saves the day he still loses. He's still fat. And who wants to look up to a fat hero? Nobody, I think.

So I rode my bike around a lot. And hiked. I've managed to stay thin as I've grown up. I have my diet to thank, I think. Not because I have a good diet but because I don't eat sometimes. It is not so bad. You don't have to worry too much about eating unhealthy food if you aren't eating anything. It keeps you thin. Also, a moderate amount of exercise.

I have not gained any weight since my sophomore year of high school.

Which is good, I guess. But I've become less healthy in college than I was in high school. Which is not good. I've been worrying about getting fat lately. I know I'm not gaining weight but I worry about developing flab. And love handles. And fat legs. And fat cheeks. And general body fat.

Every day is a good day to diet.

Comments

Anonymity said…

I will join you on your journey to being thin...I WILL NEVER EAT EVER!!!!!!!

November 17, 2008 at 10:04 PM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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