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Keep up with me now.

I met up with a couple of old friends tonight. And a new friend. A few friends. The one thing that has always bothered me was the handshake. I know what a handshake is. I'd like to think that I give out pretty reasonable handshakes. But everybody seems to have a different idea of what a handshake is.

You grab hands and shake them.

This is what you do for people that you have just recently met or are only acquainted with or if you are feeling like being a little formal with your buddies. I understand that when it's good buddies you do the bro-shake and grab thumbs and optionally go in for the shoulder pat. This is, however, reserved exclusively for good buddies. Not for people that you don't know very well. You cannot be somebody's bro if you have only just met them. The rules of etiquette here are very simple.

So I cannot for the life of me understand why people go for the bro-shake when you clearly are not good buddies. It makes the entire thing awkward because one person goes in for a bro-shake while the other goes for a handshake and then it's ruined and then they both try again but switch shaking styles and eventually just sort of flutter their hands at each other and blow the whole thing off.

This sort of thing bothers me.

And don't even get me started about handshakes where one of the involved shakers goes in with a sort of limp hand offering as if they expect you to kneel and kiss their hand. That is just ridiculous and kind of offensive, I think. I mean, who the hell do you think you are? Only broads can do that, and even then it is relegated only to a very specific sort of setting. Like high-class dinner parties.

Also, I think I'm going to use more proper writing rules when I use instant messenger. I feel guilty when I don't. Like I'm perverting the language.

I worry about things. I'm always worried. I don't know what to do with my life. And it's creeping up. Anybody want to stress out about it for me? Fuuuck.

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