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Talking about eternal destiny.

"Do you know about the flood?" I pushed the newspaper into my bag and looked at him. "I'm sorry, what?" He stepped closer. "I asked if you knew about the flood." I looked around. "What flood?" "The flood." He said. He pointed to a shell in the limestone wall in front of us. "See this shell? This shell got here during a flood. All these shells in all these walls got into the rocks during a big flood. A flood that covered up a lot of land." Images and information flooded my mind like a slideshow on fast forward. Shells, rock, limestone, water, sea, millions of years. Deposition, sediment, cementation, calcification. "Really?" I said. "There are sea shells on top of Mt. Everest." He said. "Wow." I said.

And so we talked. We talked about religion. He told me about how he'd had a religious/spiritual awakening twelve years ago where, after an entire life of religious belief and Christian practice, he finally accepted Jesus Christ as his salvation. "I was saved twelve years ago," he said. "Before, I had thought I was going to heaven. Now, I know I am." He gave me a rundown of the gospel and read some Bible excerpts to me. "You can be saved right now." He told me. "We are all sinners; we all are born with sin. And you and I, we're more given to sin--to look at things we shouldn't. And, God forbid, if you were to die tomorrow carrying that sin with you, you'd go to hell. And unfortunately that choice isn't up to me. Right now your name is written in the books." "Oh." I said. He looked up at me as he handed me a pamphlet. "Do you want to be saved?" "Um," I said. "I'm not sure if I'm ready yet." "What's your name?" He asked.

"Gabriel."

I still don't know if religion is for me. Here I am, starting my third year in my quest for spiritual enlightenment. I've talked to people, been talked to, gone to church, tried to observe God's grace, and been around true believers both life-long and recently converted. I've also talked with atheists, aggressive or not, agnostics, once-believers, and devotees of science and logic. Most of the people I've met are decidedly in one camp. It's faith or faithless. For the most part there is no reconciliation between the two ideologies. And all of these interactions have left me completely confused. I just want inner peace and shit. Why does it have to be like enlisting in an army? But I guess I'm doing alright just wandering in the dead zone between the sides.

"Why do you waste so much time drawing cartoons?"
"Because I take some pride in my work.""Do you want to be a proud cartoonist working for $6 a day for the rest of your life?"
And I didn't say anything back. Aren't you proud of me?

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