Go have fun with your friends.

I used to hear the people above me having sex all the time. It was very noisy. The bed was noisy. She was noisy. The people banging on their door telling them to be quiet were noisy. The chair they somehow incorporated into it was noisy. It was funny at first, bearing accidental witness to what should've been a private moment, but then it became annoying. And then it became just another thing that you blocked out.

Then they started fighting all the time. It was very noisy. He was noisy. The things he threw were noisy. The things he hit were noisy. The door slamming shut behind her was noisy. Her footsteps as she ran from the room were noisy. And then he would throw and hit more things.

And then it would get quiet again. Just another thing you blocked out.

It makes me wonder, though. About how much people really know about us. About our lives and the people in them. How much they know without letting on. I heard a faceless, nameless relationship fall apart through a foot of concrete. Who is eavesdropping on mine?

And how much have our friends figured out about us? Do they know us better than we think? Should they?

These are thoughts that keep me awake at night.

Comments

Carolynn said…

This was very well written.

February 10, 2010 at 4:39 PM

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

Side effects include constant irritability, being an ass.

It was a typical day in MUS 307 . A typical day where nobody pays attention to anything the professor talks about. A day where people play shitty flash games instead of take notes. A day where people sit and refresh their Facebook newsfeed instead of follow the slides. A day where people roll their eyes and go to sleep instead of listen to the music examples. A day where people get up and leave ten minutes before lecture ends instead of having the God damn decency to stay the whole time and pretend to be interested. I mean, if you're going to be so unaffected by the music we're studying in class then why the fuck did you take the class in the first place? Fuck it makes me mad. And I haven't even started talking about that fucker who sits in the back and tries to whistle along with every song that gets played in class. Alright, dude, we get it: you are just too cool and you know everything about jazz, ever. You know every standard ever written and everybody's so...

I wonder, sometimes.

I am standing on the edge of a cliff face. A breeze whips past me as I stare out into the darkness. It's a familiar sight, comforting. The river bends below me. It stretches out, away from me at both ends. The arch of the bridge traverses the river, silhouetted by the house lights and golf course below us. So far away from us. The highway reaches out before us, straight into the hills and disappears on the horizon. It is silent. There are no cars. No planes. No animals. It is just us standing on top of the cliff. As it should be. It's late. A late weeknight. Just a normal Tuesday night to the world. I step away from the edge. In 5 minutes, I will be 22 years old. It's a turning point in my life. A fixed checkpoint. I'm only 21 years old, I'm not an actual adult yet. Maybe legally. But I'm still a child. I'm immature, I laugh at fart jokes. I laugh at everything. Why would I take anything seriously? 21 years old and we still have no responsibilities. We c...

everything is fine

Search This Blog