I am the warden and the prisoner.

I feel really bad for not having accomplished anything this weekend. Especially since, I mean, you know, I had a lot of stuff to do. But what can I do now? Besides complain and feel bad, I guess. I really need to bunker in and get serious about school again. I just can't get out of this man I really don't care mind set.

It is no good.

But we played music today, and it was a good time. I played saxophone, and that felt really good. Even though nobody could hear it. It was legit--for the 10 minutes I managed to play it. I need to build my chops back up. Once upon a time I could wail on that for hours. Now I'm reduced to mere minutes. And I won't be satisfied until once upon a time is right now because I fucking love playing that horn.

I also need to write some lyrics and music. Working with these dudes on their songs and writing things with them is pretty nice, but I need my absolute creative freedom. I've got a style and a vision I need to work toward.

And Valentine's Day is coming. So I, you know, need to get cracking on a song for that.

Comments

Daily Texan Comics said…

Serenade your lady with your sax.

February 8, 2010 at 8:18 AM

Kirsten said…

i have that same mentality towards school work. i wish i was a stressful student, that way i could get things done..

February 17, 2010 at 4:44 PM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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