My days are getting overbooked. There's just too much to do. Too many things I need to do in order to do the too many things I want to do. I'm trying to prioritize things responsibly and it's getting pretty difficult. Things like the caving meeting I should go to since it's the last one before the caving trip I want to go on but there's also a comics seminar type thing at the same time and if I don't go to the caving meeting then I probably won't go on the trip which means I can go to Westlake's homecoming as an excuse to meet up with my classmates who I otherwise wouldn't have the initiative to meet up with otherwise and I won't have to worry about missing my soccer game. But then if I have time to do all those things then that means I have time to study more geology or chemistry which I should be doing because those tests are coming up again soon and I'm falling behind in my work. But I still have to worry about reviewing for my medic exam again before that comes up because I can't afford to fail it because I need to get certified so I can get a job. Caving is fun but drawing comics is my job so I need to worry about that first but I haven't done any caving in a long time. And I'm way behind in geology. And I can't seem to get enough sleep at night to function properly during the days.
And I know I'm forgetting something important. I know it. It's going to come and bite me on the ass, too.
It's just so much. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a science major. It's so much work all the time. If you're not studying for this, you're studying for that, or running to the lab, or realizing you forgot something, or getting your facts mixed up in your head. And you end up explaining plane polarized light and crossed polars as related to mineralogy in organic chemistry and thinking about the chemistry of hydrocarbons in geology and it's just...
My brain is full of fuck.
And everyone told me that college was going to be the most fun I've ever had--or ever will have--in my life. And that it would be parties and concerts and orgies all the time. But the people I know barely have time to fit their necessary work into each day. Like, shit.
There are people who get drunk every night. Or every other night. I hear them stumbling up the halls late at night. They're always yelling and screaming and being loud and obnoxious. My only solace is in knowing that one day I will have made something of my life and they will stand around and relive the glory days of college life with their friends.
My roommate is sick with something. I know it. He's just sitting around sniffling all day. Not even blowing his nose even though there's a big box of tissues on top of the television.
Every other night my suitemate and his girlfriend wait until the early, early morning and have sex in the shower. I know this because I'm usually still up studying and sound carries through the bathroom awkwardly well. And every other night the people who live above me have sex on their squeaky, bouncy bed. Sometimes they get a chair involved and it skids noisily across the floor with each, you know.
I am going to go insane.
And I know I'm forgetting something important. I know it. It's going to come and bite me on the ass, too.
It's just so much. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a science major. It's so much work all the time. If you're not studying for this, you're studying for that, or running to the lab, or realizing you forgot something, or getting your facts mixed up in your head. And you end up explaining plane polarized light and crossed polars as related to mineralogy in organic chemistry and thinking about the chemistry of hydrocarbons in geology and it's just...
My brain is full of fuck.
And everyone told me that college was going to be the most fun I've ever had--or ever will have--in my life. And that it would be parties and concerts and orgies all the time. But the people I know barely have time to fit their necessary work into each day. Like, shit.
There are people who get drunk every night. Or every other night. I hear them stumbling up the halls late at night. They're always yelling and screaming and being loud and obnoxious. My only solace is in knowing that one day I will have made something of my life and they will stand around and relive the glory days of college life with their friends.
My roommate is sick with something. I know it. He's just sitting around sniffling all day. Not even blowing his nose even though there's a big box of tissues on top of the television.
Every other night my suitemate and his girlfriend wait until the early, early morning and have sex in the shower. I know this because I'm usually still up studying and sound carries through the bathroom awkwardly well. And every other night the people who live above me have sex on their squeaky, bouncy bed. Sometimes they get a chair involved and it skids noisily across the floor with each, you know.
I am going to go insane.
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