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Blue like jazz.

I got to cook today. I've been looking forward to it all week. Chicken fettuccine alfredo with spinach. And I made my own sauce, too! I was excited to do it. I never really have a chance to experiment with my cooking since I have such limited opportunities to cook, period. It worked out surprisingly well, I think. And everyone smiled and was very polite when they told me it was good. Who knows. The only thing is that I'm starting to feel a little sick, so let's hope it's not from my own cooking. Because I cooked it with love.

I have, perhaps, doomed us all.

I cut my thumb when I was slicing a lemon in half. It was careless. And then it hurt. And it bled a little, but luckily I got it wrapped up with a paper towel and a rubber band. What kind of ghetto-medic shit is that? I'm really anxious about my test, actually. I took it this morning and it was pretty hard. So let's hope I didn't, you know, fucking fail it. I find out on Monday, I guess. So it'll either be a great or terrible present. It will decide how my week goes and even how the rest of my year goes.

I wanted to play music tonight, but that didn't happen. All I did was cook, eat, and go home. Everyone is always in such a rush. It kind of sucks. There's always a big rush to leave once everyone gets together. That's how it goes, I guess. I feel out of the loop with John and Kim and Chang. They just live too far away. I never get to see them anymore, really. Not like before. It's like they made their own, new circle. Which is understandable, I guess. Maybe that's how friends lose track of each other.

But I spent the better part of an hour playing clarinet and singing. I grabbed my horn and my hat and went to the top of the parking garage where I could see the city. All the lights and the noises under the stars and the sky and I played that clarinet until my thumb started bleeding again and my lips went numb. And then, I played some more. I played for the whole city.

And then I thanked my audience and came down from my stage.

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