Got to admit it's getting better.

"I mean, do you even do that?" She asked. "Do what?" I asked. "Worry." "Yes." I said. She scoffed. And I do. A lot. I just don't show it like other people do, I guess. Which is to say I don't come and tell them I'm worried about them. Maybe because I have an uncanny grasp of subtlety. Maybe because I just don't show things as easily as people expect.

Probably because I have more faith in people than they like to give me credit for.

And I'm worried. Nobody goes from borderline despondent back to normal overnight. But she did, and that makes me wonder if I'm kicked back to square one. I hope not. It's hard to sit and watch people deal with themselves but it's even harder to try and get involved. It's just complicated all around. Especially when you don't know what to do. But, things are going in a good direction, so I'm a little less worried.

She asked about the comics and how I draw them the day before they run instead of being smart about it like I used to. No more drawing a bunch of them at a time and sending them all in so I have a buffer to work with--I have become lazy. Which sucks. And it sucks to be called out on that. I mean, come on, man: get it together.

But I spent a decent amount of time on this one, and I think it turned out sort of like how all the other ones turn out.

Comments

I'm a geologist, not an alcoholic.

I thought I had seen people drink before. Hell, I thought that I had drank before. But, clearly, I thought wrong on both of those counts. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a reason to justify all of the drinking that transpired down there last week. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it just was. Field work just makes a man thirsty. Taking this class was easily one of the best things I've ever done. We worked hard every day out in the field. Wake up at 7, leave the beach house by 8, hit the water by 9. My first three field days were in service on the R/V Acadiana , a 58 foot vessel that towed the CHIRP fish , the air gun, and the streamer to measure all the seismic data--looking at the subsurface of the seafloor we drove over. My second ship was the R/V Itasca using the multibeam , sidescan , and grab sampler --getting seafloor surface bathymetry. They were long, exhausting days and we returned to the docks around 6 or 7 every evening. And then, drinking. So much ...

Finger pointing good.

When I was on the boat doing science at Galveston, I saw a lot of dolphins. It was a significant experience for me because I have never actually seen a wild dolphin in real life before. It was sort of a dream come true. And in the middle of the shipping channel, no less. They really are amazing animals. It really kills me to realize I'll probably never see dolphins in Galveston again because of what happened to the Gulf. What is happening to the Gulf. It really is a tragedy. On a much lighter note, I started this Insanity workout program and it was so intense that I threw up before I finished the first workout. That is a good sign, I think. It is certainly an incentive to complete the entire thing. Anything that makes you feel that bad so quickly must be good for you.

Surgery and satisfaction.

My brother is wrapping up high school band camp. It's kind of funny, because suddenly we have something we can both relate to. Sort of. Not really in a loving, brotherly way. It's more like a begrudging transmission and reception of information. You take what you can get, I guess. After a few days of band camp, I discovered that he had been leaving his instrument in the band hall without a lock. "Nobody steals stuff out of the band hall." He told me. I related some appropriate anecdotes and let him borrow my own lock until he could get one for himself. "I'm going to need that back," I told him. "So you'll need to get your own lock." A couple of weeks later, I reminded him of the terms of our deal. The next day he returned my lock and revealed that he had left his saxophone unlocked. And apparently, for reasons beyond my comprehension, this is my fault.

everything is fine

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