As we have hands to clasp.

I am, by many means, a man of much impatience. I simply do not want to deal with anything, ever. And this gets me into trouble. It's what makes me do things like, oh, swallow mouthfuls of unchewed food until I get sick and then, when I'm better, doing it all over again. I just want to be better, and, for whatever reason, I'm of the mind that you can simply will things to be true.

I am better. I will eat this food. I will brush my teeth with toothpaste.

I'm starting to dream about the foods I can't eat. Foods that I always sort of took for granted and didn't eat before this. I have an unholy craving for chicken. Roasted chicken, fried chicken, chicken strips, chicken sandwiches--I want it all. I want to taste the chicken and mash it up in my mouth. And you'd think I'd be tired of eating chicken because I ate it almost every day during the semester. But no. It's like I'm having chicken withdrawals.

I want quiche, and turkey, and ham, and peanut butter sandwiches, and paninis, and pizzas, and regular sandwiches, and salad, and cereal, and all of the food that I always just sort of accepted as always being there. I just want to gnash my teeth! Grind things into mush in my mouth! I just want to fucking chew something. I'm going to go insane.

Maybe I just want flavorful food right now because I sprinkled salt and pepper on my eggs this morning and it was the best thing that's ever happened.

Comments

Carolynn said…

At least you will get to lose your tasty food virginity over and over again.

December 24, 2009 at 9:17 PM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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