Think before speaking, eventually.

I like to be stressed out. I really do like the feeling. The uncomfortable anxiety that feels like your insides are gnawing their way out. It's one of those things that, even though I might not be outwardly enjoying it, I really am enjoying it. And I know I'll look back and love it. I need something to worry about all the time.

When I'm not stressed out, I feel like I'm not really doing anything with my time. With my life. I feel like I'm not living. So I look for things to stress out about. Sometimes I make things more complicated than they need to be just so I can get that kick.

Because I like feeling bad.

I hate it when things don't go right, but I really love derailing plans. Conflicting ideologies are not a big deal, I think. I also hate leaving people out of plans. I hate doing it because I hate it when it happens to me.

I wish everything could go according to plan.

Comments

Cam said…

Hurray for The Joker.

February 23, 2009 at 8:06 PM

Side effects include constant irritability, being an ass.

It was a typical day in MUS 307 . A typical day where nobody pays attention to anything the professor talks about. A day where people play shitty flash games instead of take notes. A day where people sit and refresh their Facebook newsfeed instead of follow the slides. A day where people roll their eyes and go to sleep instead of listen to the music examples. A day where people get up and leave ten minutes before lecture ends instead of having the God damn decency to stay the whole time and pretend to be interested. I mean, if you're going to be so unaffected by the music we're studying in class then why the fuck did you take the class in the first place? Fuck it makes me mad. And I haven't even started talking about that fucker who sits in the back and tries to whistle along with every song that gets played in class. Alright, dude, we get it: you are just too cool and you know everything about jazz, ever. You know every standard ever written and everybody's so...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

everything is fine

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