Whine more, please.

The year has been going by so quickly. It seems like classes started yesterday, yet here we are in the third week. I'm tired already. I need to finish my certification and get my EMS license. I really want to work in the hospital. I need something to do besides school.

So I guess I complain a lot. People seem to agree on that. That I complain and that I'm an asshole. That's okay, I guess. I don't think that I complain more than other people. I just do it at a level of quality where people remember it.

I don't believe that. I can't remember the point I was trying to make. I am actually a whiny bitch who would rather act like a five year-old than an adult. I'm working on it.

Simkins is far away from everything, but I kind of like that isolation. It means I have to walk everywhere, and at night that is actually pleasant. There is nobody else around. I really want to make a movie. A black-and-white detective movie. I've got all these scenes floating in my head. Angles and shadows and sounds and events. It would be fun. But I don't have time for that kind of stuff anymore.

That's okay, I guess.

Comments

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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