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Bottle it up.

When I was younger, I talked to my dad about my plan to make a movie. "I'll have to get in contact with the people in charge there to make sure we can film there." I remembered what had happened the last time we filmed without checking. Escorted out of the building by the bank security guards. Twice. My dad turned to me slowly. "In my infinite wisdom," he said. "I've learned a very important life lesson." I sat down on the couch next to him.

"Don't ask for permission," he said. "Only ask for forgiveness."

"Okay." I said. And I went back to my room.

I've tried to apply that mantra to my normal life ever since, although I think that it is a generally bad idea. I do not need to justify being more impulsive or reckless than I already tend to be. How do you balance that? I need to figure it out.

One of the things about being reckless is that you can go through life at full speed. You don't have to think ahead. You don't have to think about how things will end. You just keep going and other people think about those things. Other people worry about the things you're supposed to and things just fall into place for you to keep running full throttle. And then you get something off your shoulders and it hangs over someone else instead. But it actually hangs over you, still. More. And you keep running. In circles.

I must be doing it wrong.

Comments

Spen said…
I gotta say that bank thing was quite daring man.
April 29, 2009 at 10:48 PM
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