Those ships, all three.

So I found out, the hard way of course, that I cannot go the entire night without taking my pain medications. It surprised me how much of my face I could actually feel but wasn't. Surprised me in a bad way. I only have three days worth of that nectar left. After that, I'm on my own. So, you know, let's hope this stop hurting in three days.

The swelling feels like it went back up, but I think that's partly because of last night. I didn't ice it for very long and I didn't really take any medicine on time. I won't be doing that today. Today, I think I'm going to rake some leaves or something. My stamina is, I admit, pretty embarrassing, so that may be all I do today besides walk around the house and play video games.

I'm trying my best not to fall into what would absolutely be my usual routine of misery, self-pity, and trying to rapidly form self-destructive habits with all of the addictive medications I've been prescribed. But it's pretty hard. I have to say that honestly, this is the worst I've ever felt.

I mean, I have to eat with a baby spoon for God's sake. And I can barely fit that in my mouth. I hope this all goes away by Christmas. That would be the best present, like, ever.

Comments

Ashley said…

You can tell the swelling is going down if you compare this picture to your last one :]

December 19, 2009 at 9:38 AM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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