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Water soluble beverage powder.

This medication was prescribed because it will help me. It'll help improve the quality of my sleep so that I don't feel awful during the day. It'll help me start feeling pretty good again. It'll help me feel better, not that I feel particularly terrible. I've had it for, oh, a couple of weeks at this point yet I haven't taken any of it. Why haven't I taken it? Because I am a self-saboteur. Because I don't take care of myself. Because I'm afraid it makes me weak. Because I'm afraid it'll become a crutch. Because I'm afraid of medication in general.No, because one of the side effects is possibly wetting the bed. I don't want to piss all over my bed during the night. I feel like that won't really improve the quality of my sleep.It's just apprehension, really. And I've already been set straight on this whole business, which is why I now find myself staring down two doses of this stuff and setting an alarm. It's an experiment that I don't really want to take. Side effects include depression, and the last thing I want is to deal with that. I don't have the time or energy to be depressed. I guess I'm just deflecting because I'm afraid it won't actually work, and I'll go back to where I am now.

Maybe the depression comes from pissing the bed.

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April 13, 2010 at 6:53 AM
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