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Down the rocky road.

So I may or may not be freaking out about college at this point, and by may or may not I of course mean absolutely am. I mean, I'm just totally fucked. I have so many requirements as yet unfulfilled. It's awful. I just feel so lost and unprepared--and all of a sudden, too. I'm so behind on my geology plan--my fucking major--that it's pathetic. In fact, I haven't even declared a major yet, apparently. I'm wrapping up my third year as an undeclared geosciences student. There's just something wrong with that. And I've barely even considered pre-medical requirements.Recommendation letters? Three of them? From who? I don't know any of my professors well enough to ask them for anything. I don't have any hospital volunteering stuff. I'm not, like, the president of some organization. I don't even think I'm in any organizations. I don't go to UT Grotto meetings anymore. I don't even know when they are. For fuck's sake I don't even go to the Undergraduate Geology Society meetings and I'm an undergraduate and a geologist.

I'm trying my best not to just freak out completely and shut down because I know that won't do me any good. At least, I think it won't. Man, who even knows. Right now, tonight, I have no idea about anything, really. For the next couple of hours I'll overreact and just let myself be overwhelmed and deal with it all in the morning.

Comments

Carolynn said…
When I was growing up, my mom used to say, "How do you eat an elephant?"

and I'd be a little cunt and say "GOSH MOM, NO ONE EATS ELEPHANTS ANYWAY, YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP."

And she'd clear her throat and say, "One bite at a time, Carolynn, one bite at a time. And don't be a smartass."

I don't know if I've told you that anecdote, but whenever I feel in over my head, I think about things like that. One bite at a time. One assignment, one small goal, one deadline at a time. A lack of planning can get you, the tunnel vision might not always helps but it helps you take every step you need in the malaise and uncertainty. Every step takes you from where you've been to where you're going, every single one, so think about those in such little detail that the big picture is in the horizon. So, stare at your feet.
April 7, 2010 at 11:35 AM
Brea said…
Aw =( it's going to be okay!
You may not have some of the requirements you think you MUST have for these applications and such, but if you have determination you can get anywhere you want to be!
Don't panic, take a deep breath, and just do what you can~ The rest will fall in place ~ You can do it!!
April 8, 2010 at 12:11 AM
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