Skip to main content

Down the rocky road.

So I may or may not be freaking out about college at this point, and by may or may not I of course mean absolutely am. I mean, I'm just totally fucked. I have so many requirements as yet unfulfilled. It's awful. I just feel so lost and unprepared--and all of a sudden, too. I'm so behind on my geology plan--my fucking major--that it's pathetic. In fact, I haven't even declared a major yet, apparently. I'm wrapping up my third year as an undeclared geosciences student. There's just something wrong with that. And I've barely even considered pre-medical requirements.Recommendation letters? Three of them? From who? I don't know any of my professors well enough to ask them for anything. I don't have any hospital volunteering stuff. I'm not, like, the president of some organization. I don't even think I'm in any organizations. I don't go to UT Grotto meetings anymore. I don't even know when they are. For fuck's sake I don't even go to the Undergraduate Geology Society meetings and I'm an undergraduate and a geologist.

I'm trying my best not to just freak out completely and shut down because I know that won't do me any good. At least, I think it won't. Man, who even knows. Right now, tonight, I have no idea about anything, really. For the next couple of hours I'll overreact and just let myself be overwhelmed and deal with it all in the morning.

Comments

Carolynn said…
When I was growing up, my mom used to say, "How do you eat an elephant?"

and I'd be a little cunt and say "GOSH MOM, NO ONE EATS ELEPHANTS ANYWAY, YOU ARE FULL OF CRAP."

And she'd clear her throat and say, "One bite at a time, Carolynn, one bite at a time. And don't be a smartass."

I don't know if I've told you that anecdote, but whenever I feel in over my head, I think about things like that. One bite at a time. One assignment, one small goal, one deadline at a time. A lack of planning can get you, the tunnel vision might not always helps but it helps you take every step you need in the malaise and uncertainty. Every step takes you from where you've been to where you're going, every single one, so think about those in such little detail that the big picture is in the horizon. So, stare at your feet.
April 7, 2010 at 11:35 AM
Brea said…
Aw =( it's going to be okay!
You may not have some of the requirements you think you MUST have for these applications and such, but if you have determination you can get anywhere you want to be!
Don't panic, take a deep breath, and just do what you can~ The rest will fall in place ~ You can do it!!
April 8, 2010 at 12:11 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm a geologist, not an alcoholic.

I thought I had seen people drink before. Hell, I thought that I had drank before. But, clearly, I thought wrong on both of those counts. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a reason to justify all of the drinking that transpired down there last week. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it just was. Field work just makes a man thirsty. Taking this class was easily one of the best things I've ever done. We worked hard every day out in the field. Wake up at 7, leave the beach house by 8, hit the water by 9. My first three field days were in service on the R/V Acadiana , a 58 foot vessel that towed the CHIRP fish , the air gun, and the streamer to measure all the seismic data--looking at the subsurface of the seafloor we drove over. My second ship was the R/V Itasca using the multibeam , sidescan , and grab sampler --getting seafloor surface bathymetry. They were long, exhausting days and we returned to the docks around 6 or 7 every evening. And then, drinking. So much ...
1 comment
Read more

Finger pointing good.

When I was on the boat doing science at Galveston, I saw a lot of dolphins. It was a significant experience for me because I have never actually seen a wild dolphin in real life before. It was sort of a dream come true. And in the middle of the shipping channel, no less. They really are amazing animals. It really kills me to realize I'll probably never see dolphins in Galveston again because of what happened to the Gulf. What is happening to the Gulf. It really is a tragedy. On a much lighter note, I started this Insanity workout program and it was so intense that I threw up before I finished the first workout. That is a good sign, I think. It is certainly an incentive to complete the entire thing. Anything that makes you feel that bad so quickly must be good for you.
3 comments
Read more

Surgery and satisfaction.

My brother is wrapping up high school band camp. It's kind of funny, because suddenly we have something we can both relate to. Sort of. Not really in a loving, brotherly way. It's more like a begrudging transmission and reception of information. You take what you can get, I guess. After a few days of band camp, I discovered that he had been leaving his instrument in the band hall without a lock. "Nobody steals stuff out of the band hall." He told me. I related some appropriate anecdotes and let him borrow my own lock until he could get one for himself. "I'm going to need that back," I told him. "So you'll need to get your own lock." A couple of weeks later, I reminded him of the terms of our deal. The next day he returned my lock and revealed that he had left his saxophone unlocked. And apparently, for reasons beyond my comprehension, this is my fault.
2 comments
Read more