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Hallelujah zig zag nothing.

Patient presents with nausea, dizziness, light-headedness, fatigue, and general sickness. Only allergic to minocin, has seasonal allergies. Currently taking ibuprofen, fluticasone propionate (nasally). No pertinent history. Last intake was a multi-vitamin.

When I woke up this morning I felt incredible. I slept and slept and slept and when I woke up it was still eight in the morning so I slept some more. And after I showered I felt great. I was well rested and ready to tackle Monday. And then I went outside and immediately felt terrible. I don't know what the deal is. Maybe I'm dying. Who knows.

Today was an especially exciting day in organic chemistry. There was a couple behind me who kept talking about random shit during the lecture. It was at this point in time that Dr. Bocknack began to discuss the dihydroxylation of alkenes, and drew the intermediate: an osmate ester. The couple looked up at the figure in confusion, abruptly ending their conversation about cesarean sections. "What is that?" She asked. "I, uh, I don't know." He said. "It looks like oxygen and sulfur in the middle, there." "Yeah," she said. "And it's got, like, eight bonds coming off of it. It has to be oxygen and sulfur."

But it was osmium.

And they never figured it out. And I was pleased. I find it really satisfying when I get to see things go poorly for people I don't like. Everybody does, I think. It's our sadistic side coming out. We are, after all, just animals with fancy shoes.

Comments

Carolynn said…
Schadenfreude is a beautiful thing.
November 2, 2009 at 9:58 PM
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