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Dwell on this dying thing.

"You need to be stronger." She said as we pulled away from the traffic light. "You whine too much when you get sick. You have some problems sleeping and suddenly you want to go see a doctor about it? I haven't gotten a good night of sleep this week. Do you think your dad sleeps well every night? Come on here, Gabriel. You won't sleep well every night." I sighed and looked out the window. "I know, I know," she said. "You don't want to hear it. You never want to hear it. If seeing a doctor is what you really need, then we'll do it."

I shouldn't have brought it up at all, I guess. I'm just such a, you know, bad son--and weak person--for asking for help when things get out of hand. And how dare I bring up a longstanding problem again. I mean, who am I to try to get my problems fixed?

"You know about Alfred Hitchcock?" He asked. I glanced up at him. "Yes, I know about Alfred Hitchcock." I replied as I pulled on my shoes. "You know how he got started?" He continued. "He was just a fat kid who liked movies. So he got a job making title cards for silent movies. A few years later he was directing his own stuff. Obviously that worked out real well for him." I said nothing as I tied my shoes. "I guess the thing to take away from the story is that when you have a real, honest passion for something--be it film, or geology, or medicine--you can get pretty far and end up doing some great things." I put my coat on and pulled open the door. The conversation went exactly as I'd expected it to. "Well," I said as I walked outside. "I am not passionate any of those things." He has enough free time to watch the entirety of The Outer Limits and Alfred Hitchcock Presents but can't spare any to glance over my story.

I think five weeks is too much time to spend with family. I think I'm ready to leave now.

Comments

Carolynn said…
I remember being totally unable to sleep for the first week or two after my surgery, and having a great deal of difficulty after that for a while. I don't know if it's related or if we're bother nerdy shut ins.

Either way, the family can wear on you, but school is right around the corner. Don't worry so much. Also I want to see a larger chunk of your story than what you had posted on your last blog.
January 10, 2010 at 9:27 PM
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