I believe we have the answer.

Neither of us was particularly impressed, but what could we do. We had been the ones to leave after all. To leave and go across the street. Which, I guess, is on par with saying 'good-bye' and leaving completely. I'm not really surprised though. I mean, not to say that sitting around and watching strangers hang out with other strangers or going to a park to play electronic catchphrase doesn't seem like an exciting, awesome time.

It's just not active enough for me. I'm kind of an athlete.

I decided that, to kick off the start of a new year, I would sing. Since I had a car and everything. And sing I did. I've lost some control, but at this point I really don't care. It was difficult to enunciate, but I don't care about that either. I was singing and starting to feel normal again. I sang until my throat was raw, and the mouthful of blood I spat out was absolutely worth it.

I also thought of a couple new resolutions. One, I think, will help me out.

Don't take it too seriously when something disappointing happens. Everybody else is used to that feeling.
Get my writing voice back and refine it.

For a new year and everything, I'm still pretty unimpressed.

Comments

Carolynn said…

Powerful stuff. Can you whistle?

January 1, 2010 at 6:44 PM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

I'm a geologist, not an alcoholic.

I thought I had seen people drink before. Hell, I thought that I had drank before. But, clearly, I thought wrong on both of those counts. I cannot, for the life of me, think of a reason to justify all of the drinking that transpired down there last week. There was no rhyme or reason to it, it just was. Field work just makes a man thirsty. Taking this class was easily one of the best things I've ever done. We worked hard every day out in the field. Wake up at 7, leave the beach house by 8, hit the water by 9. My first three field days were in service on the R/V Acadiana , a 58 foot vessel that towed the CHIRP fish , the air gun, and the streamer to measure all the seismic data--looking at the subsurface of the seafloor we drove over. My second ship was the R/V Itasca using the multibeam , sidescan , and grab sampler --getting seafloor surface bathymetry. They were long, exhausting days and we returned to the docks around 6 or 7 every evening. And then, drinking. So much ...

What the fuck am I looking at.

Today, I went to the gym and found something new. I found a room with pads on the floor and walls. A room with a punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It was like walking into a dream come true. It was exactly what I had been looking for for months. For years , even. And I attacked that bag. I'll be spending a lot of time there, I think. I have been in such an inexplicably good mood these last few days. I don't know what the deal is. Maybe it's because I've been eating so many bananas. It's probably because things are going pretty well and I'm just feeling good. Doing nice things, feeling confident. Good things. And most importantly, I'm feeling less tired. Maybe it was a diet change. Maybe it's all the exercise. I will probably never know, but that doesn't bother me.

everything is fine

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