Not if your foot's asleep.

I always feel so bad when I eat pancakes and don't use all of the butter they give me in the little butter cup. I mean, I certainly don't need that much butter and I know that eating that much butter is just a horrible idea, but they gave me all that butter. And if I don't use all of it, they'll just throw it away. They won't give it to somebody else. I can't waste the butter! So I put all of the butter on my pancakes so they end up oversaturated with butter.

But damn do I love eating pancakes.

I set up a year-long schedule for writing my zombie story today. I just need to accomplish something with that. I thought about it. After a year of 'working' on it I ended up with 40 or so pages. A year. And now I'm at zero pages. That's horrible progress, and I feel utterly disappointed in myself because of it. So no more spinning my wheels. I can think and talk about this project forever, but it's time to really get serious about it. I've wasted a month already and I haven't written my new draft yet. I think having deadlines will give me the kick in the dick in the balls I need to get on track. Now I've got some set goals to work toward.

Or, you know, I'll end up not doing it and being unhappy forever.

Comments

Carolynn said…

Make a better story. You're working on that, so keep working on that. Don't worry about pages. What you want is something good.

February 1, 2010 at 1:46 AM

Pseudo-science (like psych).

I consider myself a man of science. I try to approach problems and deal with them logically, using observations previously recorded to handle new problems. So of course my interest was piqued when someone I knew posited that men are needier and more complicated than women. An interesting theory. But to properly examine it, one must understand the concept of sexual selection and its two aspects: male competition and female choice. Which brings us to point one: men are needier [in relationships] than women. This is true. In a natural/primal setting, the males are generally love-'em-leave-'em kinds of guys. Their main objective is to reproduce as much as they can. Humans, in their infinite wisdom, have decreased the emphasis on this to the point where it has become a footnote in male purpose. Civilization dictates that, instead of finding a partner for the sole purpose of reproduction, males find females for life companionship. With the effective removal of their natur...

Just the stirring in my soul.

I, really, kind of don't want to be here anymore. Not in the sense that I am dissatisfied with my life or my present situation--which isn't to say that I'm not , because I am in a way--but in the sense that I am dissatisfied with the lack of things happening. I keep looking around. Out the window of my room. Out the window of my car. Out the window of the living room. I want to be on the other side of that glass. That's where the action is. I need, desperately, an adventure. I need to go somewhere. See something. Anywhere, anything. I don't care where or what as long as it's happening. I want to travel so badly. Grab my backpack and my camera and walk away. I'd settle for going to the same state park I've been to a hundred times over. It's this routine I'm stuck in. Seeing the same shit every day, going through the same motions. I need to change it up, break things. I need some vitality--being cooped up is killing me. What I re...

No, Holmes, no!

All I ever think about these days is how much I have to/want to study. I hope that's not how I have a good time, now. Would I rather go hang out with peeps or would I rather sit in and study? It is a difficult question to answer. Just a couple more days and then I can focus all my energy on the next greatest idea I've ever had: iconic detectives and sharks.

everything is fine

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