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It's my aim to kill you.

Don't get me wrong. I want to play some music. I desperately want to play some music. I desperately want to play some fucking music. I want to sink into a couch with my feet kicked up, a cigarette hanging from my lips, and a guitar across my lap. I want to shake feverishly as I scream into the mic to hear myself over the other instruments. I want to jam into the wee hours of the morning until my fingers bleed, my voice disappears, and I can't hear anymore.

But things just don't work out, and it frustrates me to no end. It's right there. It's so close. But I just can't get out there with these guys and it makes me feel bad. Disappointing for them I'm sure. The dude's my friend and it's like, yeah! It's so exciting and then the next day, there's no car, the timing doesn't work out. It's just bad. It's just... I just live here with these people. In borrowed space under a roof that isn't mine. So I'm stuck going by these rules. Things will be different. But then it'll be too late. Damn it damn it damn it.

Damn it. I missed out on getting busted up by cops! Damn it! That's a life dream!

But there are some good friends out there. Good friends having good times doing good things together. Which is, you know, fantastic. I think I'm going to be more social this year. More social should equate to more confident, right? I think I'm doing pretty good with that.

'Cause I mean, I'm pretty much the best at everything.

Comments

Ashley said…
Smoking is gross.
January 12, 2010 at 8:59 PM
Gabe said…
It wouldn't be lit. It'd just be there for accent.
January 12, 2010 at 9:25 PM
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